James best and worst pick up lines
by TigerLily318
Summary: James Potter tries to score with Lily Evens using a variety of funny,strange,sweet, and gross pick up lines, see her reactions.


**A/N: First ever fanfic soo review and enjoy!**

**All characters belong to J.K. Rowling not me sigh :[**

* * *

Hey evens!

What do you want potter

You

And I want you…

You do!

To go to hell!

That hurts evens

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* * *

Roses are red and violets are blue and ill go away if I get a kiss from you

No deal, just leave

Damn it

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* * *

So lily me you this Saturday what do you say!

I say id love to but I have more interesting things to do

Like what

Like watch paint dry

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* * *

Your eyes sparkle like the midnight sky your hair looks like ahh

Like a what

I forget the rest of it

So you just wasted three minutes of my life on your stupidity

Umm yeah

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* * *

Hey evens want to go out this Saturday

Okay

Really!

No

Damn it

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* * *

If you were a booger id pick you first

Were the hell did you come up with that!

Sirius

Of course

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* * *

I was star gazing last night and I was choosing a star for every reason I love you

And?

I ran out of stars

Either that or it went to ten and you couldn't count any higher

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* * *

I think im dying couse your an angle

your not dying but it can be arranged!

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* * *

Potter

Yes lily love?

Why did you get me a bucket of paint?

So on our next date we can watch it dry together

…

Hey were you going!

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* * *

I picked a flower and it told me that you love

Flowers can't speak

No I meant that I pulled out its petals while saying she loves me she hates me she-

the flower lied

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* * *

Lily who would you rather date me or Sirius?

Id rather kill myself

So melodramatic

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* * *

Lily

What potter

You're a thief

What no I'm not!

Yes you are

What have I stolen?

My heart

Well in that case you can have it back

Can I have my chocolate frogs back to?

Nope

Damn it

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* * *

You are my sunshine I'm only happy when I'm with you so uhh go on a date with me or a something

Or something; like walking away

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* * *

Lily I love you

And id love you!

Really

If you walked away

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* * *

Id go to the ends of the earth for you

Then go there and stay

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* * *

What will it take for you to love me?

For you to have never been born

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* * *

I got a booboo on my lips can you you kiss it to make it better

Booboo really what are you five?

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* * *

Look lily mistle toe!

[Points wand upward and sets mistle toe on fire] Not any more

Damn it

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* * *

It would take century to tell how much I love you

You're still upset about the counting stars thing aren't you?

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* * *

POTTER!

Yes lily love?

LOOK AT MY HAIR!

It's pink

WHY IS IT PINK POTTER?

Umm April full's?

IT'S FEBRUARY!

Happy Valentines Day?

-

* * *

I hate you potter

Hate is a strong passion

Almost as strong as my passion to kick your scrawny arse

* * *

If I leave you alone for a week will you kiss me?

Make it a year and you've got yourself a deal

Damn it

* * *

I love you

I hate you

Hate is a strong word

Not strong enough

* * *

I would give up all the galleons in the world just to spend an hour with you

Then you owe me a lot for all the classes we have together

* * *

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?

Potter the day you met me was in first year and you pushed me into the lake

Your point being

It's a bit to late for that line

Damn it

* * *

1+2= I love you

You suck at math, and rhyming, and

Point taken!

* * *

Potter

Yes?

Why did you give me a box with Sirius in it?

I wanted to give you a puppy

…

* * *

In a perfect world wed be married

In a perfect world you'd have never been born

* * *

I'm dying tomorrow so why don't you make my last night the best ever

If you don't leave right now you will be dying sooner than tomorrow

* * *

Hey were have you been all my life?

Hiding from you

* * *

Hey lily listen

If I could hold a star for ev

Ohh damn it another star one!

Hush now were was I oh yes if I could hold a star for every time you made me smile id be holding all the stars in the galaxy

I hope they blow up and you die slowly and painfully

* * *

If you were holding twelve roses and you stood in front of a mirror you would see thirteen lovely things

And if you, Sirius and a toad stood in front of a mirror it would break

* * *

Are you a book because you're what I call FINE PRINT!

When was the last time you read a book?

Uhh James is not here right now please leave a message after the beep

BEEEEEPP

* * *

If you were my sister incest would be cool

…

* * *

Hey Evens are you ticking

What?

, Cause you're the bomb!

* * *

If I saw you naked id die happy

And if I saw you naked id die laughing

* * *

You see my friend over there [points to Sirius, who waves] he wants to know who do think is cuter

A dead puppy

Damn it Sirius you win

…

* * *

If I gave you truth serem I bet you'll admit to loving me

And if I gave you truth serem I bet you'll admit it was you who put beetles in my soup yesterday

* * *

Uhh

Running low on pickup lines potter

Hey there hard to think of!

Especialy if you can't think

* * *

[By the lake]

Hey lily what's the handsomest thing in a five yard radius

[looks at diserted courtyard] umm the giant squid

* * *

Hey its hogsmead weekend you know what that meens!

You sit heer sad, alone, and ugly?

NO! I have a date with-

Sirius! I thought you loved me! [runs away fake crying]

Shees PMS much?

* * *

Do you have a band aid I scraped my knee falling for you

No you scraped your knee when I pushed you out of your chair in the great hall

* * *

God called he needs his angle back

Your town called they need there idiot back

* * *

I saw a rose this morning and thought it was the most beautiful thing ever until I saw you

I saw a pile of dragon dung this morning and thought it was smarter than you now I see im right

867309-8675309-8675309-8675309

* * *

Hey lily are you from Kansas coase you're the only ten I see!

What?

I think I did it wrong

"GASP"

What?

I didn't know you could think!

* * *

Potter?

Yes my lovely lily?

Were do you get all of these pick up lines?

Sirius has a book of them

of course

* * *

Hey baby what's your sign?

Do not enter

* * *

Evens you look hot!

Potter you do not!

* * *

Lily are from Tennessee coase you're the only ten I see!

I thought it was Kansas?

* * *

You know want me Evens!

Yeah I want you… to leave!

?

* * *

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are sweet, and I love you

apples are red, I hate Sirius black, go to hell and never come back

* * *

Im sure with your great looks you turn a lot of heads

And I bet with your awful ones you turn a lot of stomaches

* * *

Names potter, James potter

Names interested, not interested

* * *

Pinch me your to beautiful

Okay

Damn it Evens that hurt

* * *

Love me or leave me

Okay

Hey were you going!

* * *

If I were you, I would kiss me

And if I were you I would be an annoying , arragont ,stupid prat, who

Are you done yet?

I might never be

* * *

Im here to arrest you

For what

For stealing my heart

Phew I thought you were talking about the…uhh never mind

The what lily. THE WHAT!

* * *

Hey evens im out of pick up lines sooo do you want to go out with me!

Okay

REALLY!

No, I cant believe you fell for that agian

Your cruel

[JP+LE][JP+LE][JP+LE][JP+LE][JP+LE][JP+LE][JP+LE]


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